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hsart
02-14-2010, 09:12 AM
Excuse the title (I studied psychology in school), but am looking for some logical suggestions for a sensitive family issue. Not even sure this is the right venue, though I assume a lot of members have or had kids. I am a single dad of a just turned teenage girl. I love my guns, my training sessions, and strongly support gun owner rights. My 13 year old understands the issues about bad guys out there and loves watching all the CSI tv shows as well as Criminal Minds (my fav). We have a plan on what she needs to do if someone breaks in at night (or during the daytime). She likes to shoot her Ruger 10/22 but does not own a handgun yet. I told her I will get her a .22 handgun as soon as she wants one. I assume we will take some defensive handgun courses together within a few years or so... she needs to ask nicely and really want to. Here's the issue - she is very uncomfortable when she sees me concealed carry, and a bit uncomfortable when I am reading gun magazines or researching something gun related online. She knows the value of it all but I think it may be some peer pressure at school - most of the kids and parents are anti-gun and she fears that I would be classified a weirdo by them (even though they do not know I carry). Any suggestions on how to communicate a little better with her on these issues would be greatly appreciated. I am sure she will change her tune once she experiences a Frontsight or Gunsite course.

unclenunzie
02-14-2010, 09:23 AM
Not a psychologist nor do I have kids, but the cornered cat website may be of use to you. It focuses on guns from a Woman's perspective, which of course includes concerns regarding children.

Cornered Cat (http://www.corneredcat.com/)

unclenunzie

Dietrich
02-14-2010, 09:37 AM
Although we don`t have any kids of our own,Helen and I practically raised two nieces.Peer pressure was one of the biggest obstacles we had to overcome.You know how it is,in their minds we are too old to understand and too old fashioned to "get it". I believe as you do that once she is exposed to the fun of shooting a little more,she will begin to understand better.Take it slowly and gently so she can make up her own mind.

ripley16
02-14-2010, 09:57 AM
I suggest you ask her what her cares or concerns are, then address them. While a 13 year old girl is not an adult, she is mature enough to voice her thoughts.

Let her know you do it because you care for her and this is only one of many ways you'll use to protect her.

Good luck. Peer pressure is tough to fight.

wyntrout
02-14-2010, 10:07 AM
Without trying to sound like a "conspiracist", even though there are organized efforts to disarm us and give the ever-growing government complete control of everything and everybody in this country, explain that ultimately you are responsible for your own defense. This is an inalienable right not bestowed by the government, but guaranteed and protected by our Constitution. There are a lot of bad guys out there who want to get stuff without working or paying for it as most of us do. They ply their trade night and day everywhere looking for victims. Think -- wolves and sheep, and that you don't want to be a sheep or victim and are taking responsibility for yourself and your family's protection. This is a basic human right of self-protection and the wolves or criminals are only stopped by an immediate strong defense or threat of deadly force against them. Calling 911 is not always possible or timely. After all, "when seconds count, the police are only minutes away". As you see on shows like CSI and in real life, the police can only react to a crime, not protect you from one. They come along after the crime and start an investigation, which is not much help after you've been robbed, brutalized, or worse.
Tell her that there has been an organized effort to convince everyone that guns are bad and we would all be better off if only the government and law enforcement had guns. We would then not be free in our own homes as the criminals would hardly obey such laws and be happy that they can ply their chosen trade at will, without fear from armed potential victims, or sheeple. Peer pressure might be popularly against guns in the hands of private citizens, but too many people, especially the young and naive, have been "brainwashed" by progressive elements for the last 30 -40 years, trying to ready the entire population for a government that will supply all of their needs, as decided by the enlightened elite who will decide who gets their largesse -- all of the wealth taken from those who earned it. These elites don't want the citizens to be able to resist their benevolent government, which knows best for everyone.
Yes, there is a conspiracy, and corrupt politics, and our children have been dumbed down and taught the "progressive" ideas about the government only wanting to take care of everyone by taking everything from the evil rich and others who have too much, though they worked hard to earn that wealth, and giving it to the "needy", or rather the lazy and envious. By disarming the public, they are getting much closer to that goal.
There are a few helpful posters attached.
Wynn

jeep45238
02-14-2010, 10:34 AM
Talk to her.

Kevin in Texas
02-14-2010, 10:46 AM
I'm a dad, and I agree that talking with her is important, but being a good listener is even more important than that when it comes to kids.

As pro-RKBA people, our passion can sometimes come on too strong for others who don't always see things the way we do. You're already off to a good start with her, because she already enjoys and respects firearms.

Reassure her that you carry to protect her, and your family - what any good parent should be willing to do. Let her know that you love her and respect her thoughts about what's going on, and that she is safe to speak openly about it. Ask her what it is about Daddy carrying that makes her uncomfortable? Then close it and LISTEN to her. You'll do fine.

If you have a female friend or family member who carries or is married to someone who does, talk to that person too. She may be able to help you on a level you couldn't by yourself.

Good Luck.

Kevin

hsart
02-14-2010, 11:18 AM
Excuse the title (I studied psychology in school), but am looking for some logical suggestions for a sensitive family issue. Not even sure this is the right venue, though I assume a lot of members have or had kids. I am a single dad of a just turned teenage girl. I love my guns, my training sessions, and strongly support gun owner rights. My 13 year old understands the issues about bad guys out there and loves watching all the CSI tv shows as well as Criminal Minds (my fav). We have a plan on what she needs to do if someone breaks in at night (or during the daytime). She likes to shoot her Ruger 10/22 but does not own a handgun yet. I told her I will get her a .22 handgun as soon as she wants one. I assume we will take some defensive handgun courses together within a few years or so... she needs to ask nicely and really want to. Here's the issue - she is very uncomfortable when she sees me concealed carry, and a bit uncomfortable when I am reading gun magazines or researching something gun related online. She knows the value of it all but I think it may be some peer pressure at school - most of the kids and parents are anti-gun and she fears that I would be classified a weirdo by them (even though they do not know I carry). Any suggestions on how to communicate a little better with her on these issues would be greatly appreciated. I am sure she will change her tune once she experiences a Frontsight or Gunsite course.
Wow, great advice from different perspectives. I sort of feel like an unarmed (with the proper info) citizen who was rescued by armed citizens. I agree that communication is critical. Too bad we can't have one-on-one talks with our politicians. Much appreciated!!

She saw me reading the forum responses and asked what I was doing - I showed her the posters kindly attached by Wyntrout and we talked about them. I mentioned to her that there are a lot of people and politicians in our country that wanted to take our gun rights away - like in UK and Australia - and she couldn't believe it and said that it was "incredibly stupid" to take away our right to self-defence.

wyntrout
02-14-2010, 11:53 AM
Good, that's a start. I knew she was smart from what you said. Peer pressure isn't usually a positive thing, and she can use her own intellect to filter out some of the stuff spouted by "useful idiots". She just needs the proper perspective and that protecting herself or others is morally right. Too many kids just go with the crowd to fit in and don't put much thought into questioning the popular notions like people shouldn't have guns, "'cause, like, guns kill people, ya know?"
I thought the posters might give her something to think about.
I hope that helped.
Wynn:)

hsart
02-14-2010, 12:10 PM
Good, that's a start. I knew she was smart from what you said. Peer pressure isn't usually a positive thing, and she can use her own intellect to filter out some of the stuff spouted by "useful idiots". She just needs the proper perspective and that protecting herself or others is morally right. Too many kids just go with the crowd to fit in and don't put much thought into questioning the popular notions like people shouldn't have guns, "'cause, like, guns kill people, ya know?"
I thought the posters might give her something to think about.
I hope that helped.
Wynn:)
Yeah peer pressure growing up... I sympathize with all kids. Thought you would like to know that she just told me that she joined a Facebook page/club called "I'm allergic to bullshit". She does have a good sense for it all (most of the time). She liked the posters.... they really help as kids are more visually oriented than intellectually grounded.

wyntrout
02-14-2010, 12:18 PM
She sounds like a great daughter. Mine just turned 35 the 11th this month and my son will be 37 next month. Dialog between you two will help your relationship grow stronger, especially when you both listen.
And with the posters, a picture is worth a thousand words, sometimes.
Wynn:)

Kevin in Texas
02-14-2010, 01:29 PM
Good, that's a start. I knew she was smart from what you said. Peer pressure isn't usually a positive thing, and she can use her own intellect to filter out some of the stuff spouted by "useful idiots". She just needs the proper perspective and that protecting herself or others is morally right. Too many kids just go with the crowd to fit in and don't put much thought into questioning the popular notions like people shouldn't have guns, "'cause, like, guns kill people, ya know?"
I thought the posters might give her something to think about.
I hope that helped.
Wynn:)

Oleg Volk's stuff is always good for starting honest dialogue.

-Kevin

wyntrout
02-14-2010, 01:34 PM
Oleg Volk's stuff is always good for starting honest dialogue.

-Kevin

You're right and while I gave the link when I first posted his work, I should have included that here. There are a great many images here and Oleg and his wife are very outspoken on this particular human right:
Make a choice (http://www.a-human-right.com/)
Sorry for the omission.
Wynn:o

PETE14
02-14-2010, 02:29 PM
My 14 year old son (big difference) wanted nothing to do with my guns a couple of months ago so I gave him space and time and would ask him every couple of weeks if he wanted to go shooting and he finally asked me the other day if I would take him. He actually wants to be an FBI agent now.

Not that this helps your situation but all I am saying is she will come around.

Peer pressure is a strong thing but each kids needs to understand that they should really only care about peoples opinions that truly care about them! It is hard for a kid that age but once they get older (my oldest son is 19) they understand alot better.