May's Mother of all threads Mayhem. Be nice.

[bulletdodger]

Bawanna is our winner! Ha! Better to be able to spot them then not spot them eh? I took those photos at a kissing booth at the festival. There were little cut outs all along a wall of the booth. Pay a buck and get a smooch. One of those ladies burped as I walked by and it caught my eye. Step right up and take yer pick!!! For only a buck you can lay one on one of these mysterious beauties!

[Bawanna]

I should probably disqualify myself from the competition and pass the the accolades to Barth.

With my amazing profiling skills I have an unfair advantage.

The prize was a free kiss wasn't it? Save the buck?

[GROTMAN]

AND THEN THE FIGHT BEGAN...

[ltxi]

Its time for another round of "spot the imposter" ........

All but the one center row left.

[JFootin]

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"
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The husband, typically non-romantic, replied "I am on the toilet. Please advise."

[southsound]

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties. The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?" The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment-I spit on your ties. I need water!”

"Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5."

"Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you but... I must conserve my energy and find water!"

"Okay," said the little old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need... Go In Peace."

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he crawled back, almost dead and gasped... "They won't let me in without a tie!”

[mamaleader]

:80:

I just wanted to use that ^^ smiley. I figured this was the place for it

[DeaconKC]

A man spotted an old time tent revival meeting and out of curiosity decided to attend. At the end of the Fire and Brimstone sermon, the preacher said if anyone needed special prayer to come forward and he would lay hands on them and pray. Eventually the man found himself in front of the preacher who asked him what his burden was. He replied "I need prayer for my hearing." the preacher slapped his hands over the man's ears and prayed a beautiful prayer, removing his hands he looked at him and said "How is your hearing?" The man replied "I don't know, it's not until Tuesday."

[Barth]

WTF
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013...zation-at-63t/
"Those who claim that amnesty will not create a large fiscal burden
are simply in a state of denial concerning the underlying redistributional nature
of government policy in the 21st century,"

[OldLincoln]

More future Democrat votes! Can't we find any country overflowing with future Republicans we can invite over. I'm genuinely concerned we may have seen our last Republican administration.