I gotta quit looking at the internet. Kentucky Gun has a Century Arms Canik TP9SFX with a Vortex Dot sight for just a smidge over 600.
One of the sergeants here has one and it's pretty sweet. I've not shot it but he says it's a real shooter
20 round mags (probably need them being 9mm) and lots of options in the box.

What do I need it for ya know? Maybe it's time for an intervention.