January's JOKOlerity!!!

[jeepster09]

Conceal Carrie or open Carrie?

[jeepster09]

Racial Profiling

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Racial Profiling

I was standing at the bar of Terminal 3 in the International Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says "No, why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?

"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you little prick.

[Armybrat]

Jeepster, the cow one make me chuckle.

I would send that one to my landman in Nordakota, but he's probably heard it already. lol

And Bawanna, thanks for the update on ol' Jocko.

[Armybrat]

I was torn between posting this here or in the CCW, Tactics, and Training forum I find it humorous, but think it's also an appealing salute to sound tactics.



http://www.violentlittle.com/products/roof-korean-color-morale-patch

Those guys certainly proved that while defending their businesses after the Rodney King LA riots late last Century.

[Armybrat]

A Texan died and ascended into Heaven.

St. Peter met him and welcomed him saying "You will certainly enjoy Paradise."

The Texan shook his head sadly and said "I always thought that TEXAS was Paradise."

St. Peter said "Well, let me show you what we have to offer." He took the Texan to an area that had a beautiful river flowing through it with wildlife and flowers everywhere. "Isn't this beautiful?" said St. Peter.

The Texan replied, "Yes, but not as pretty as the area around SAN ANTONIO."

Somewhat ruffled, St. Peter took him to another area where there were rolling hills, whitetail deer and bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush everywhere. "Now" said St. Peter "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"

The Texan paused and said "Yes, it is beautiful but it does not hold a candle to the TEXAS HILL COUNTRY in the springtime."

Becoming more upset, St. Peter then took the Texan to a
beautiful white beach, with gentle waves, and an azure sky. "Now have you seen anything this beautiful in Texas" said St. Peter.

The Texan smiled and said "I guess you've never been to SOUTH PADRE ISLAND".

At this point, St. Peter took the Texan to a large rock. On the side of the rock was a huge iron door. St. Peter opened the door and they stepped into an elevator and started going down.

As they descended, it grew more and more hot. When the elevator door opened, it revealed the fires of damnation-Hell. St. Peter said, "Now, have you got anything in Texas that can top that?"

The Texan thought a moment and shook his head.

"No, but I know a couple of old boys from HOUSTON that can put that thing out for you."

[Armybrat]

Texan looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump! "Stop," he yelled, "remember you're someone who has value!"

The man yelled back, "I just lost everything in the stock
market!"

"But remember you're important to your wife," yelled the Texan.

"The ***** divorced me."

"Your children! Remember your children," yelled the Texan.

"They never call," said the man.

"Then your parents. Remember your parents," yelled the Texan.

"Dead as doornails," said the man.

"Then 'Remember the Alamo'," yelled the Texan.

"What's the Alamo?" inquired the man.

The Texan said, "Jump, you Yankee son of a *****!"

[AIRret]

racial profiling

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racial profiling

i was standing at the bar of terminal 3 in the international airport when this small chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "do you know any of those martial arts things, like kung-fu, karate, or ju-jitsu?"

he says "no, why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because i am chinese?

"no", i said, "it's because you're drinking my beer, you little prick.

love it !!!!!!!!!!

[GROTMAN]

You will not believe what just happened .. I went to the gas station up the street from me to buy a diet mountain dew ... When I walked up I noticed these two cops looking at a woman who was smoking while fueling up ,
I saw her & was like .. hmm what an idiot. So I went in picked up my drink and as I was checking out I hear someone screaming. I look out side and noticed the woman's arm was on fire!
She was tossing and waiving her arm around all crazy! By the time I ran outside the cops had put her on the ground and were putting the fire out with an extinguisher. When I walked closer, I see the cops put hand cuffs on her and were about to put her in the cop car.
I was thinking what in the world???
But being the concerned citizen that I am I asked the cops what they were arresting her for ..
figuring that catching her arm a blaze would be punishment enough.

He looked me dead in my eye and said ....





."waving a firearm' ......

[kwh]

^ I never saw that one coming

[wyntrout]

HA! HA! A bunch of good ones!