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Thread: The Ides of March….or is that Ideas for March Hmmmmmmmm

  1. #1
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    Default The Ides of March….or is that Ideas for March Hmmmmmmmm


    MURPHY'S OTHER 15 LAWS

    1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

    3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

    4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

    5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

    7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

    8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

    9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

    10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

    11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

    12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

    13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

    14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

    15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.


  2. #2
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    OK, I'll see your Murphys law and raise you my personal French Military score card:

    - Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000
    years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an
    Italian.

    - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic
    who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's
    armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

    -Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever
    lose two wars when fighting Italians.

    - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

    - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but
    manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually
    the other participants started ignoring her.

    - War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as
    chapeaux.

    -The Dutch War - Tied

    -War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
    Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded
    Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French
    military power.

    -War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French
    their first taste of a Marlborough , which they have loved every since.

    - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to
    future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists
    saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and
    leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; " France only wins when
    America does most of the fighting."

    - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was
    also French.

    - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First
    Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for
    a British footwear designer.

    - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk
    Frat boy to France 's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

    - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the
    United States . Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not
    only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein."
    Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any
    improvement in the French bloodline.

    -World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States
    and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

    - War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed
    with the Dien Bien Flu

    - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western
    army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the
    First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule
    is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans,
    English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

    - War on Terrorism - France , keeping in mind its recent history,
    surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender
    to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

    The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should
    not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France
    crumbles.

  3. #3
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    Holy Smokes…what a history!

  4. #4
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    But they're good cooks...
    ​O|||||||O

  5. #5
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    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  6. #6
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    The Siege of the Alamo ended 181 years ago today. God Bless Texas!

    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

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