June jocularity (no relation to Jocko)

[ltxi]

...

[wyntrout]

The old cowboy’s shave





An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Red Lodge, Montana for a shave and a haircut.



He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.



The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside each cheek in turn, to spread out the skin.



When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.



The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does”.

[jeepster09]

Psychotherapy for Retirees

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How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in RETIREMENT.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!

2. On all your check stubs, write, "For Sexual Favours"

3. Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

4. With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.

5. Sing along at The Opera.

6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

7. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

8. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go...'

9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favourite...

10. Go to a large Department store's fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, "There's no paper in here!"