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Thread: July jovialities

  1. #11
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    Sep 2009
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    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  2. #12
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    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    Bawanna and Jocko

    Bawanna and Jocko, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

    One day Jocko didn't show up. Bawanna didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something...
    But after Jocko hadn't shown up for a week or so, Bawanna really got worried.

    However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Bawanna didn't know where Jocko lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

    A month had passed, and Bawanna figured he had seen the last of Jocko, but one day, Bawanna approached the park and--lo and behold!--there sat Jocko!
    Bawanna was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

    Then he said, 'For crying out loud Jocko, what in the world happened to you?'

    Jocko replied, 'I have been in jail.'

    'Jail!' cried Bawanna. What in the world for?'

    'Well,' Jocko said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at Panera's coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

    'Yeah,' said Bawanna, 'I know her, she's got a great rack. What about her?

    ˜Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she filed rape charges against me; and, at 75 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

    'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
    "Life Member NRA"
    45's Rule...all others are wimpy!....

  3. #13
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    Sep 2009
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    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    3,221

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    Plane talk

    A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago . The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
    The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.
    So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The busy flight attendant smiled and said, "Did your Mother tell you to ask me?"
    The boy said, "Yes, she did." "Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
    "Life Member NRA"
    45's Rule...all others are wimpy!....

  5. #15
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    A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Hendersonville , NC
    He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever-living crap out of a flag burning, cop hating, anti-Trump protester.
    The priest says, "My son, please don't waste my time. I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."




    "Life Member NRA"
    45's Rule...all others are wimpy!....

  6. #16
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    Sep 2009
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    Indeed!
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    94

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    Quote Originally Posted by jeepster09 View Post
    A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Hendersonville , NC
    He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the ever-living crap out of a flag burning, cop hating, anti-Trump protester.
    The priest says, "My son, please don't waste my time. I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."




    LMAO! That's a good one!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Upstate, South Carolina
    Posts
    609

    Default Time to Quit Drinking


    Drinking, A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
    A Few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. Then, nothing. But, after another minute or 2, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. “What’s all the screaming about in there?" he yells. “You’re scaring my customers!”
    "I'm just sitting here on the toilet minding my own business," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts." The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You're sitting on the mop bucket."
    NRA Benefactor

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    LOL...now thats funny
    "Life Member NRA"
    45's Rule...all others are wimpy!....

  10. #20
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    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    Will i live to be 80?

    Here's something to think about.

    I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing well' for my age.

    A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

    He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
    'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

    Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
    'I said, 'No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

    Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, Or bicycling?'

    "Yes I do" I said.

    He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

    'No,' I said

    He looked at me and said,....
    'Then, why do you even give a sh!t?.
    "Life Member NRA"
    45's Rule...all others are wimpy!....

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