Spectacular September....

[kenemoore]

A family is sitting around the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” said the boy. “Yes, you see them and they make you cry,” the father replied.
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter asked, “Mom, how many kinds of willies are there?”
The mother, surprised, smiled and looked at her daughter and answered, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible, but reliable. And after fifty, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” asked the daughter, confused.
“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.”

[wyntrout]

Gettin' my looter stand all set up. I scattered some small electronics and a flat screen by the end of the driveway to bait em in.

[Armybrat]

A man was driving near a truck stop and stopped for a traffic light. A scantily clad "lady" approached and said " anything you want for $150 honey" He asked" anything" Yes was the answer. She hopped into his car and they drove to his house. They got out and walked around the back where ladders and scaffolding were set up. He cracked open a can of paint handed her a brush and said "ok start painting.

[Ikeo74]

If you need to track a wounded one, you better change out of the "flip flops"

[Ikeo74]

Wyn, they are coming your way for that electronic stuff you planted.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/storm/...Kz&ocid=ASUDHP

[AIRret]

Wynn, this morning I heard that Jacksonville is experiencing historic flooding!
Are you folks doing ok?

[GROTMAN]

I'm surprised at how politically incorrect all you members of Kahrtalk are. They are not looters but " UNDOCUMENTED SHOPPERS"

We recently had some here in NC as well,

[Bawanna]

This one hit home.

[ltxi]

Gettin' my looter stand all set up. I scattered some small electronics and a flat screen by the end of the driveway to bait em in.

Now that there be seriously Funny!

[jeepster09]

I was sitting there at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" He says menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.” I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

"I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in, and I sit here watching the poison dissolve..............… and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But, enough about me, how are you doing?