October Observations

[wyntrout]

USAF and Navy pilots meet!

[AIRret]

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!! A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to hisSunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. · The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. · The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. · The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. · The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol . . . . . .. Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke . .Dead! Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . Dead!. Fourth worm in good clean soil . . Alive?! The Minister asked the congregation, "So, my friends? What did you learn from this demonstration?" Maxine, sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said . . "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!" That pretty much ended the service!

[Bawanna]

I didn't see that one a coming.

[GROTMAN]

Good ones wynn and AIRet

This isn't on the same level but made me grin..

[jeepster09]

Lol....good ones.

[jeepster09]

Da Bears

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The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues; but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank.In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another in a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.

And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says. "You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,...

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!!!"

[GLOCKROCKER]

You boys are on a roll! I'm stealing a couple of these.

[wyntrout]

Never Judge Old People

https://youtu.be/0Kx73mFVidM

[jeepster09]

Husband wanted...

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A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

[Bills1873]

Good God Jeepster! Where do you get all these good ones? A++++