November naughtiness

[jeepster09]

Need a new pillow? Try My Pillow!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3alLlPjTX1I

[wyntrout]

I thought the woman putting the pillow over her mate's face was funny, but it went downhill from there... turning into an ad.

[jeepster09]

A young man with his pants hanging half off his a$$, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just hate drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You will have to drive around in his 2017 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshi!!in' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well... you started it."

[kenemoore]

In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the Crew. And they spoke among themselves, saying, ''It is a crock of $hit, and it stinketh.''
And the Crew went unto their Chiefs and said, ''It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof.''
And the Chiefs went unto their D.O.’s, saying, ''It is a container of excrement, andit is very strong, such that none may abide it.''
And the D.O.’s went unto their fellow Officer’s, saying, ''It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.''
And the Officer’s spoke amongst themselves, saying to one another, ''It contains that which aids growth, and it is very strong.''
And the Officer’s went unto the 1st Lt, saying unto them, ''It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.''
And the 1st Lt went unto the Captain, saying unto him, ''This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the ship, with powerful effects.''
And the Captain looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
And that is how $hit happens

[Tinman507]

[jeepster09]

Navy Cooks

---

An admiral visited one of the ships of the line under his command.
While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval insignia stamped on every biscuit.
He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command.
The Chief replied, "I'd be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the Navy insignia."
Horrified, the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"
The Chief shrugs and replies, "Well, if that's the way you feel, Sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts."

[ltxi]

I may have to resign from the forum. I'm selling all three of my Kahrs and replacing them with Glocks.

[berettabone]

nooooooooooooooo not the dark side...........

[Bawanna]

Hey pal, this is the Hotel California, you can resign but you can never leave. I've tried.

[jeepster09]

I may have to resign from the forum. I'm selling all three of my Kahrs and replacing them with Glocks.

The Gblock furum wishs to welcome you...