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Thread: January Jocularity

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
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    That's good! I'll be that guy swears off shooting refrigerators ever again.
    http://bawanna45.wix.com/bawannas-grip-emporium#!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
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    5,704

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    I thought this was funny.

    The Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix.

    https://youtu.be/vwbKYcBdVyk
    The only thing better than having all the guns and ammo you'd ever need would be being able to shoot it all off the back porch.

    Want to see what will be the end of our country as we know it???
    Visit here:
    http://www.usdebtclock.org/

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    3,425

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    You a pilot?

    You a Pilot?

    You have lived to be damn near 80, and think you know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell

    An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks,
    still wearing his old USMC flight jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

    As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, "Are you a real pilot?" He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?"

    She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women."

    The two sat sipping in silence.

    A few minutes later, a young man sat down on the other side
    of the old pilot and asked, "Are you a real pilot?"

    He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid,,,don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
    Posts
    27,494

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    Oh you killed me with that one Jeepster. I just found out I'm a lesbian too. Who knew?
    http://bawanna45.wix.com/bawannas-grip-emporium#!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Upstate, South Carolina
    Posts
    714

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    Jeepster, that was great. Almost snorted my coffee.
    NRA Benefactor

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Central MN
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    1,353

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    I know it's late notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Minneapolis at the new U. S. Bank Stadium on Sunday, February 4th. They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400.00 bar tab and a pass to the winners locker room after the game. What he didn't realize when he bought them last year was that it's on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at St. Paul's CatholicChurch at 3 p.m. Her name is Ashley. She's 5'4", about 115 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt and will clean your truck. She'll be the one in the white dress.
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    You had me at first....good one!
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid,,,don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Round Rock, Texas
    Posts
    3,158

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    This ain't so jocular...

    Moved the mercury thermometer off the covered patio out into the middle of the yard this morning. It read "8"..... as in eight (ocho)!
    My nads appear to have ascended, never to be seen again!

    The coldest ever recorded temperature in Austin was in 1949 - it was -2 f.
    "My God, Woodrow. It has been quite a party, ain't it?"

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    3,425

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    What only minus 2! That's balmy nice
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid,,,don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    4,079

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armybrat View Post
    This ain't so jocular...

    Moved the mercury thermometer off the covered patio out into the middle of the yard this morning. It read "8"..... as in eight (ocho)!
    My nads appear to have ascended, never to be seen again!

    The coldest ever recorded temperature in Austin was in 1949 - it was -2 f.
    Yesterday when i went to pick up bagels, wearing running shorts, at six am it was zero degrees F. But ya' know, here it's a dry cold.
    NRA Benefactor

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