January Jocularity

[Bawanna]

I feel blessed we had a nice dry weekend probably close to 50's. Now we're getting our usual rain but at least it's still in the 50's. No snow and ice.
I'm happy. Here it's a wet cold, or a wet warm.

[wyntrout]

My son was getting married Saturday the 13th in Delaware, OH at 5PM. Because of the bad weather forecast for our arrival, Wifey and I left Jacksonville a little earlier than planned... Wednesday at 10:14 PM and arrived about 11:20PM Thursday, spent the night in our comfy van in the Hollywood Casino parking garage in Columbus after a few hours of slots. I looked for casinos online and found they had a few, so we chose the biggest and best.
We beat Winter Storm Hunter to Columbus, OH, to be there for my son's wedding on Saturday. We did see 3 degrees or less Saturday morning and had quite a bit of snow and ice, but it didn't take long to clear it from my van. And then I got to play with my 2005 GMC AWD Savana Van in the parking lot in front of our hotel... did lots of slides and drifting... great fun and practice in the snow and ice. My son got married and we did lots of dining out the whole time and a bit of shopping and left Monday morning and beat Winter Storm Inga's arrival. We had clear roads and sunshine after West Virginia and a decent night's rest in a rest area in North Carolina... temperature in the 20's, but we had blankets and sleeping bags on the bed frame I built for the van. We had fresh coffee, too, unlimited as I added an automatic switch for charging the auxiliary battery for the inverter and Keurig Coffeemaker... Starbucks anytime.
Friday, after we got there, I got to shoot with my son at the Black Wing Shooting Center... used my EDC the black P40 with a ported barrel. My son used his Glock 22, a used police trade-in. We had a good time and the guys there were great. Wifey and my son's bride-to-be went shopping while we shot our pistols.
It was a quick trip and we were glad to get back home and miss all of the bad weather on the road... saw lots of bad accidents on the other side of the road. We really lucked out with the weather and it was clear and sunny but warmer as we drove on back to Jacksonville in NE FL, getting home about 2:30PM on Tuesday.

[Armybrat]

Congratulations on the occasion of your son's wedding!

Sounds like a fun road trip and a good time was had by all.

[jeepster09]

Aging Gracefully?

---

This is appropriate for people like us that are still young for our age!

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's rear end anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so. Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?

7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

16. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

[GROTMAN]

One buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING.

However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing."

Well, here it is:

* You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

__________________________________________________ __________

* You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One
of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic
in bed."

That's Advertising.
__________________________________________________ __________

* You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.
__________________________________________________ __________

* You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him
and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie,
brushing your breast lightly against his arm,
and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.
__________________________________________________ __________

* You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.
__________________________________________________ __________

* You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk
him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.
__________________________________________________ __________

* Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.
__________________________________________________ __________

* You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing, so you climb onto the roof of
one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm
fantastic in bed!"

That's Facebook.
__________________________________________________ __________

* You are at a party; this old man walks up to you and grabs your ass.

That's Bill Clinton
__________________________________________________ __________

* You didn't mind it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you
were offended and you are awarded a settlement.

That's America

[Ken L]

IRONY

The judges who said that we don't need to stand up for the National Anthem expect us to stand up when they enter the courtroom. What do you suppose they would do if they came into the courtroom and everyone "took a knee"? Just sayin'......

[Ikeo74]

That needs to happen, take a Knee when the court clerk says "all rise", that would be really funny.