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Thread: Fantastic February...

  1. #51
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Jacksonville, FL
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    10,649

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    Ha! Ha! So funny!

    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
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    wisconsin
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    The grumpy Navy Master Chief saw a new face and shouted at him, “Come here! What’s your name, sailor?”
    “James,” the new seaman answered.
    “Listen carefully sailor, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It their last names only; Carter,Davidson,Cooper, Jackson, whatever. And you are to refer to me as ‘Master Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?”
    “Aye, Aye, Master Chief!”
    “Now,what’s your last name?”
    The sailor sighed. “Darling, My name is James Darling, Master Chief.”
    “Okay,James, here’s what I want you to do…

  3. #53
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    Jan 2016
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    wisconsin
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    An older couple Olivia and Percival,who were both widowed,had been going out with each other for long years.Urged on by their friends,our couple decided it was finally time to get married.
    Before the wedding day,they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.They discussed finances,living arrangements,and so on.Finally, the old gentleman Percival decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
    “How do you feel about sex?” he asked,rather tentatively.
    “I would like it infrequently “, Olivia replied. Percival sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses,scratched his jaw then leaned over towards her and whispered,“Is that one word or two?”

  4. #54
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    Jan 2016
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    wisconsin
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    A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.
    When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
    His dad thought for a while and answered, ”Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
    ”I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny.
    ”Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.
    ”Okay then…good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ”OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of ****!”

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
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    27,683

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    Aw, you killed me with that one.........
    http://bawanna45.wix.com/bawannas-grip-emporium#!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

  6. #56
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    wisconsin
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    351

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    A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks “How do you guys relieve your s.xual tension?”
    “Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we’ll show you.”
    The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says “Since you’re our guest you get to go first.”
    The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have s.x with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks: “Are you almost done Doc?”
    “We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women.”

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
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    3,453

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    I think Jocko is back...I need his spell checker to read?
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

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