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Thread: May the 4th be with you

  1. #11
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    Sep 2009
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    Default

    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  2. #12
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    MILITARY WISDOM
    .
    "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." -Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
    .
    "Aim towards the Enemy." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
    .
    "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. -U.S. Marine Corps
    .
    "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
    .
    "If the enemy is in range, so are you." -Infantry Journal
    .
    "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." -U.S. Air Force Manual
    .
    "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -Gen. Mac Arthur
    .
    "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." -Infantry Journal
    .
    "You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me." -U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
    .
    "Tracers work both ways." -U.S. Army Ordnance
    .
    "Five second fuses only last three seconds." -Infantry Journal
    .
    "Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything." -U. S Navy Swabbie
    .
    "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." -David Hackworth
    .
    "If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." -Infantry Journal
    .
    "No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection." -Joe Gay.
    .
    "Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." -Anon
    .
    "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." -Unknown Marine Recruit
    .
    "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." -Your Buddies
    .
    "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." -U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  3. #13
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    Sep 2010
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    7,215

    Default My nephews email to his teacher regarding homework

    This is my 11 year old British nephews real email to his teacher regarding weekend homework. They brought it to his parents attention a couple of weeks later. He’s a smart kid and advanced in the sciences and math he loves but doesn’t like history. He also speaks his mind. I had to laugh. Names removed to protect the identity. Enjoy the read.

    When your 11 year old son has beef with the School about weekend home learning and decides to email the Head Mistress what he thinks!! This email only came to my attention a few weeks after he sent it!


    Dear Ms. Bxxxxxxx,
    regarding the weekend home-learning, it is the most futile thing that I have ever come across due to its inefficient use of my, and everyone else's time. My work was apparently insufficient, which is an extremely unethical statement, or an opinion, but as I recall, you said 'give it a go'. I complied and my result was not taken in, which insulted my intelligence, which conveys me on to the fact about you saying that we are (as a year group) are insulting you. This deeply perplexes me. Technically, we are not insulting you, you are the one insulting our efforts and profundity. Suffice to say, what you said was hypocritical. Yes, I understand that by this stage you intend to give me a detention or, perhaps, an isolation only because you cannot accept the fact that what you did was wrong. You may want me to stop being smart, but you intend for your students to be as smart as their Hippocampus and Cerebral Cortex can capacitate and there is no doubt that your school has taught us how to argue. If I recall correctly, which I do because my memory is flawless, you said that the school I go to, NOA, hires the best teacher possible, that is obviously an overstatement since the teacher, who I handed my homework into, neglected to accept my homework, this displeased me in great quantities. History is a non-essential subject to what I intend to be when I'm older. What I want to do when I'm older, I'm already doing (we can discuss that another time if you intend). Despite the fact that this is also a bit off subject, your school enlightens me in either facts that I already know or information that I'll, most likely, never need to use in the future. In short, what you claim to be a school, is merely a school. 'Ethics' is a word meaning what is morally correct or what should be done by the standards of behavior, which I'm sure is important to your school, has been violated numerous times in the duration of three days as you did do what isn't logical. 'Common sense' is something Mr. Taylor discussed in the assembly on Tuesday, however it is not common sense to get, approximately, one hundred and eighty children to do something which will probably not influence that person's life in any way, shape or form. It is sometimes argued that homework is a form child abuse and I do agree in some circumstances. I fail to understand why it is now compulsory, because you said it was optional, then why would you have just made it optional when you expect everyone to do it in the first place.
    I give my many apologies that this is five hundred and eighty words long and I will attempt to make it shorter since you probably have work to do unless you prefer it long and my vast range of vocabulary and Year 9 biology terms. I understand the contrary so there is not required that you recount for me for I am fully aware. If you have read this, please respond; I do not Email very frequently.


    Best regards,
    Year 7 student,
    Cxxxxx Axxxxx


    The only thing better than having all the guns and ammo you'd ever need would be being able to shoot it all off the back porch.

    Want to see what will be the end of our country as we know it???
    Visit here:
    http://www.usdebtclock.org/

  4. #14
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    Default

    A tourist walked into a pet store at an overseas Air Force base and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a Chief from Maintenance on the base walked in and said to the shopkeeper,
    "I'll take a 933 monkey, please".
    The shopkeeper nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store, and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the Chief, saying, "That'll be $2,000." The Chief paid, and left with the monkey.
    The surprised tourist went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
    The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that's a 933 monkey.
    He can build pallets of freight, plan aircraft loads, rig loads for airdrops, drive forklifts, type manifests, heat meals for officers, and perform the duties of any flightline traffic tech with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money"
    The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage.
    "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" he asked.
    "Oh, that one" replied the shopkeeper. "That's a "Maintenance Supervisor" monkey. It can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance at the unit, Intermediate, and Depot level, and even do most of the paperwork.
    A very useful monkey indeed"
    The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag was $50,000.
    The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?"
    "Actually," said the shopkeeper,
    "I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and play with his pecker, but his papers say he's a Pilot."
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  5. #15
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    The good old days.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  6. #16
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    Jan 2016
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    wisconsin
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    Default

    I've always been a fan of a cellophane greeting, but never got one.

  7. #17
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    I've posted this before, but I just have to laugh every time I run across it.

    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    11,459

    Default

    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    11,459

    Default

    Yow!
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  10. #20
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    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    11,459

    Default



    Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
    George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State
    Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

    She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

    While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he
    asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

    So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering
    kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

    After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even
    the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting,
    Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"


    "My parents don't like me dressing like a girl."



    It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed??
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

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