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Thread: June June....

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    In the Colorado mountains
    Posts
    1,551

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    I just watched a few episodes with Art Donovan and have to say he is definitely my kind of guy. Loved his stories of playing football back in the good ol' days.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    5,786

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    A guy is sitting at home alone when
    he hears a knock on the front door.
    There are two sheriff's deputies there;
    he asks if there is a problem.
    One of the deputies asks if he is
    married, and if so, can he see a picture of his wife.
    The guy says "sure " and shows him a
    picture of his wife. The sheriff says,
    "I'm very sorry sir, but it looks like your
    wife's been hit by a truck."
    The guy says, " I know, but she has a
    great personality and she's an excellent cook. "

    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    5,786

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    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    5,786

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    The Brothel

    The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

    'May I help you sir?' she asked.

    'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.

    'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else', said the madam.

    'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.

    Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

    The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The price was still $5000.

    Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

    The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

    After their session, Valerie questioned the man, 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?' she asked.

    The man replied, 'Ontario '.

    'Really?', she said. 'I have family in Ontario.'

    'I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'



    The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.

    1. Death

    2. Taxes

    3. Being screwed by a lawyer
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
    Posts
    32,539

    Default

    Consider that filed in my memory bank. Good one.
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

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