September silliness

[Bawanna]

Chocolate Chip and pecan, never heard of that, but sounds mighty fine.

[wyntrout]

Always keep your eyes open for opportunities.... there was the time......................
I was driving down a lonely and remote Texas road on a cold winter day when it began to snow pretty heavily.
My windows were getting icy and my wiper blades were badly worn and quickly fell apart under the strain.
Unable to drive any further because of the ice building up on my front window I suddenly had a great idea.
I stopped and began to overturn large rocks until I located two very lethargic hibernating rattlesnakes.
I grabbed them up, straightened them out flat and installed them on my blades, and they worked just fine.


Of course, that's because they were .......wind-chilled vipers.

[wyntrout]

[wyntrout]

Monday night, Boudreaux put his lil’ 3 year old daughter Clotile to bed, tole her a story and listened to her prayers – an’ what she done said was some kinda somethin’…


“God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma and goodbye Paw-Paw.”


Perplexed, Boudreaux asked, “Mais cher, how come you say goodbye Paw-Paw?”


The little girl said, “Shoo, I don’t know, Daddy. It just seemed like the thing to do.”


Paw-Paw died on Tuesday morning


You probably ain’t surprised that Boudreaux thought it was a strange coincidence. An’ then four Monday nights later Boudreaux put dat lil’ girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this:


“God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Maw-Maw.”


Tuesday afternoon, Maw-Maw done died.


“Mais what?” thought Boudreax. “I got me a daughter what’s in contact wit’ dat other side.”


Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say:


“God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.”


Dat done gave Boudreaux a good case o’ de frissons. He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day, he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally, midnight arrived, and Boudreaux breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife Marie said: “Mais, I never seen you work so late. What’s de matter?”


“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Boudreaux replied. “I done just spent the worst day of my life.”


Marie said, “Mais, you think you had a bad day, you never gon’ believe what happened to me this morning. You know Thibodeaux, de golf pro at de club? Dat po’ man, he dropped dead in the middle of my lesson.”

[wyntrout]

[wyntrout]

UNDERSTANDING AN ENGINEER 101:


Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

[wyntrout]

[Armybrat]

Bob Dylan was right - times are a'changin'.....

Saw this at our local main grocery store today:

[kenemoore]

A friend of mine from Eastern Washington (who is a farmer and rancher) was telling me,”I recently spent $10,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd, but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows and within two days, he mated all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ............ but they kind of taste like peppermint.”

[ltxi]

A friend of mine from Eastern Washington (who is a farmer and rancher) was telling me,”I recently spent $10,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd, but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows and within two days, he mated all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ............ but they kind of taste like peppermint.”

That would be flavored, high dose Viagra. They do that now for marketing to middle and high school kids.