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Thread: Opening October...

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Upstate, South Carolina
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    815

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    Quote Originally Posted by ltxi View Post
    Excellent...thanks!!
    What he said.
    NRA Benefactor

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple
    were involved in a fatal car accident.

    Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside
    the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

    While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married
    in Heaven?

    When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.

    St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked.
    Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

    After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat
    bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in
    Heaven".

    "Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things
    don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

    "You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with
    frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

    "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".

    "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a
    priest up here .....Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find
    a lawyer?"
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
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    28,030

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    Oh that one hit me just right. Well done.
    http://bawanna45.wix.com/bawannas-grip-emporium#!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    4,269

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    ...x2
    NRA Benefactor

  5. #35
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    Jan 2012
    Location
    south east Michigan
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    2,052

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    Sounds like a politician!


    Quote Originally Posted by Bawanna View Post
    We had a plumber that contracted for us back in the day, he would work with bare hands, but put latex gloves on to eat lunch.

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Upstate, South Carolina
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    A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"
    He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
    NRA Benefactor

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
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    Early Days of Marriage

    After being married for 50 years, a man took a careful look at his wife and said, “Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junky car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV. But every night, I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now, we have a $750,000 home, a $65,000 car, a nice big bed and an 80-inch flat screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 73-year-old saggy woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
    After a moment of pause, the wife replied, “Why don’t you go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and I will make sure that you would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.”

    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    10,741

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    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    10,741

    Default

    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    3,573

    Default

    A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep. There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed. Being a gentleman, the priest said, "Sister, you sleep on the bed. I'll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag."
    Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said "Father, I'm cold." He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got the blanket and put it on her.
    Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, "Father, I'm still very cold.."
    He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again. Just as his eyes closed, she said, "Father, I'm sooooo cold."
    This time, he remained there and said, "Sister, I have an idea. We're out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let's pretend we're married."
    The nun said, "That's fine by me."
    To which the priest yelled out, "Great. Get up and get your own stupid blanket!"
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

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