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Thread: March Merriness

  1. #61
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    Way, way too big!
    NRA Benefactor

  2. #62
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    HERE'S A PIC TO SATISFY MOST OF YOU AND ITXI AS WELL
    Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on and approve of at the same time.

    "If we ever forget we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Ronald Reagan

  3. #63
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    A driver was stuck in a traffic jam, on the highway outside Washington D.C.
    Nothing was moving.
    Suddenly, a man knocks on the Window.
    The driver rolls down the window and ask, "What's going on?"
    "Terrorist have kidnapped the entire U.S. Congress, and they are asking for 100 million dollars in ransom,
    otherwise they are going to douse them in gasoline and set them on fire."
    We are going from car to car collecting donations.
    The driver asked, " What is the average donation?"
    The man replied, "Roughly about a gallon each."


    NRA Benefactor

  4. #64
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    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  5. #65
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    ...
    Attached Images Attached Images
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  6. #66
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    > In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his

    > wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who

    > ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just

    > heard about one of your students?"

    > "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you

    > to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

    > "Test of Three?"

    > "That's correct," Socrates continued.

    > "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test

    > what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made

    > absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

    > "No,"
    the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."

    > "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or

    > not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you

    > are about to tell me about my student something good?"

    > "No, on the contrary."

    > "So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him

    > even though you're not certain it's true?"

    > The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

    > Socrates continued, "You may still pass though because there is a

    > third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me

    > about my student going to be useful to me?"

    > "No, not really."

    > "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither

    > True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

    > The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.

    > This is the reason Socrates was a great
    philosopher and held in such
    high esteem. It also explains why Socrates never found out that Plato
    was banging his wife.

  7. #67
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    one more.......

    My wife's friend was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

    A half-gallon of 2% milk
    A carton of eggs
    A quart of orange juice
    A head of lettuce
    A 2 lb. can of coffee
    A 1 lb. package of bacon

    As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the weaving drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

    She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the derelict's intuition since she indeed had never found Mr. Right. She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status..

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she said , 'Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?'


    The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.
    '

  8. #68
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    Jun 2014
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    Upstate, South Carolina
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtkicker View Post
    one more.......

    My wife's friend was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

    A half-gallon of 2% milk
    A carton of eggs
    A quart of orange juice
    A head of lettuce
    A 2 lb. can of coffee
    A 1 lb. package of bacon

    As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the weaving drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

    She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the derelict's intuition since she indeed had never found Mr. Right. She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status..

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she said , 'Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?'


    The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.
    '
    Blew my coffee on that one... Good job!
    NRA Benefactor

  9. #69
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    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
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    11,459

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    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    11,459

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    For those who need Zero turn and ZERO tolerance options in their lives...
    #getoffmylawn



    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

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