Our Pal Itxi

[deadeye111]

Prayers sent from SE Missouri. Keep the faith, GOD still heals!!

[Ed M]

Hang in there ltxi - you can beat this.

Prayers sent from Pennsylvania.

[ltxi]

Thanks for all the good thoughts and comments, guys!

I sent this info to Bawanna in a PM 'cause I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but did want someone to know what happened when I disappeared. And then he went and ratted me out.

It's not the docs telling me I'm into the end game here. They don't have to, in fact they're reluctant to bring it up. They all consider me a literate patient, which I am. I know a how to read and interpret a CT scan, blood work, cancer marker trends, etc. I've also from the beginning been a full participant in my treatment decisions and know how to read my body.

We changed my chemo treatment recently to specifically target the current problem and there's a slim chance of continuing to hold this off for a bit longer. But I'm not and never have been under any illusions....Stage IV pancreatic cancer is simply not survivable and I'm already going on three years since it surfaced. Quite remarkable actually, especially considering how damn bad off I was when it first hit. Puts me at about a two to three pecent survivor at this point already.

Also....think I've mentioned this in the past....I'll be going out on my own terms. I have no interest whatsoever in dragging this out to a bitter, lingering, painful end. When my quality of life drops below acceptable, with no rational possibility of recovery, I'm outta here.

[Bawanna]

I'm in total agreement on the quality of life thing. I just lost another friend on Saturday a 35 year cop from a neighboring town, moved to Florida about a year ago. Diagnosed with brain cancer. Did the treatment, made him so weak they put him in rehab to build his strength up so they could hit him again. They knew it was not survivable from the get go. Decided to forgo further treatment. Went from rehab right into hospice.
Kind of sad, but he didn't want to just occupy space in pain and discomfort. My dad did pretty much the same thing.
Not fair.

I'm sorry I ratted you out Itxi but figure everybody here is good friends and got the rights to know whats happening with other friends.
If you want to come on up and give me an arse whoopin, I'll take it with a song in my heart and a smile on my face, and I won't fight back.

Bring it.

[boscobarbell]

Thanks for all the good thoughts and comments, guys!

I sent this info to Bawanna in a PM 'cause I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but did want someone to know what happened when I disappeared. And then he went and ratted me out.

It's not the docs telling me I'm into the end game here. They don't have to, in fact they're reluctant to bring it up. They all consider me a literate patient, which I am. I know a how to read and interpret a CT scan, blood work, cancer marker trends, etc. I've also from the beginning been a full participant in my treatment decisions and know how to read my body.

We changed my chemo treatment recently to specifically target the current problem and there's a slim chance of continuing to hold this off for a bit longer. But I'm not and never have been under any illusions....Stage IV pancreatic cancer is simply not survivable and I'm already going on three years since it surfaced. Quite remarkable actually, especially considering how damn bad off I was when it first hit. Puts me at about a two to three pecent survivor at this point already.

Also....think I've mentioned this in the past....I'll be going out on my own terms. I have no interest whatsoever in dragging this out to a bitter, lingering, painful end. When my quality of life drops below acceptable, with no rational possibility of recovery, I'm outta here.

Great post. I commend you for your honesty, bravery, and overall philosophy.

[Alfonse]

Itxi, that's why there is no wonder why you are valued here and I expect most everywhere else. Cheers.

[jeepster09]

Thanks for letting us know Bawanna, we are all friends here and we did want to know.
Here Itxi...let this fire you up.

[yqtszhj]

When my quality of life drops below acceptable, with no rational possibility of recovery, I'm outta here.

I like that perspective of doing it on your terms and it’s admirable. You ain’t done yet, hang in there.

[Bawanna]

Thanks for letting us know Bawanna, we are all friends here and we did want to know.
Here Itxi...let this fire you up.

Might not fire Itxi up, but it did fire me up.

[CM9]

Itxi......................there is a whole lot of prayin goin on here , We know that you feel it.