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Thread: Nuttin' funny in September?

  1. #21

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    The worst part when they don't put you out is when they show you that big black coil of hose that's attached to the "probe"... Well that, and the complete lack of dignity that is part and parcel of the procedure. Wanna get away?

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    4,042

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    My father, a long time- long haul truck driver got colon cancer and had a section cut out. Fine for him, but with a family history, my docs insisted I have the scope annually for 10 years, then every 5th year. Last was at 70 and in all those years never once saw even the start of a pop-up. Told the doc on my first one I don't want to remember being here. He and all that came later listened. Now days they have a small soda pop sized drink for flush, but starting out it was a 1 gallon of stuff, with another to rinse. Said to start it at 5pm but I learned to start at noon the day before. When asked they said absolutely no booze. I figured I'd have to tie my butt down if I boozed up. So I'm done with that Tom foolery. For the OP that started this part, hope every thing worked out ok.
    •"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." - O. L.
    • "America's not at war; her military is. America's at the mall."

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    3,400

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    Well as Paul Harvey used to say, here's the rest of the story...First off, who ever invented the poopajuice needs to die a horrible death, there just has to be a better way...My appointment was for 9:00am so I had to be there at 7:30am and the directions said to drink half a gallon the night before and get up at 3:00am and drink the rest and I thought about that for about 4 seconds and said naaaaaaaaa lets get this over with and sucked down the whole thing as fast as I could and believe me about 20 minutes later it worked as advertised....I have never been a huge Elton John fan but I had the song "Rocket Man" stuck in my head for most of the night until it finally slowed down some....

    Got through the rest of the night getting up every half hour going back to my second home and made it to my appointment on time and I have to say they were great and made it as painless as possible...Got the IV in and remember hearing the drug was going in and that's all she wrote, good night Irene, didn't feel a thing, woke up, asked if I could get a take out 12 pack of that stuff but no go on that deal....Wife was there when the doc came in and said the wonderful prep I did didn't work good enough and I would have to do the whole thing over again....NOT what I wanted to hear!!!, I guess directions are important.....Wife was laughing her A off saying, I've been telling you for years you were full of Ka Ka and now we know I was right.....Lucky for her I still had tubes and wires in me or I would have gone all Ralph Kramden and it would have been "Bang zoom over the moon Alice" for her!!!....

    Oh well, gotta do it all over again in a couple weeks but this time I got a new plan, going to add a can of Gumout fuel injection cleaner to the gallon of sewer slop to give it a boost...Who knows, could help things move along a little better and it sure will improve the taste!!!
    An armed society is a polite society

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
    Posts
    28,739

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    Hmm, I never had to drink anymore of the stuff in the morning, just the gallon jug the night before. I would have cried if I had to do it all over again, and you can cry if you want, I'll cry with you.

    Being in a wheelchair, I just spend the evening on the throne, too tough and slow to mount and dismount from the chair.
    http://bawanna45.wix.com/bawannas-grip-emporium#!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Round Rock, Texas
    Posts
    3,409

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    Well Colonel, that would be a good time to read “War and Peace”.
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    High Plains Drifter, stuck in a Lowland swamp called California
    Posts
    1,008

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armybrat View Post
    Well Colonel, that would be a good time to read “War and Peace”.
    Yeah, sound effects will be provided by the reader.
    23 years in a Federal Penitentiary, 6x8 double bunked rooms with toilets

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    10,958

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    OMG! I just saw this in Military Humor on Facebook! With all of the home renovations and people doing their own, this is really funny!

    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    4,419

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    Quote Originally Posted by getsome View Post
    Well as Paul Harvey used to say, here's the rest of the story...First off, who ever invented the poopajuice needs to die a horrible death, there just has to be a better way...My appointment was for 9:00am so I had to be there at 7:30am and the directions said to drink half a gallon the night before and get up at 3:00am and drink the rest and I thought about that for about 4 seconds and said naaaaaaaaa lets get this over with and sucked down the whole thing as fast as I could and believe me about 20 minutes later it worked as advertised....I have never been a huge Elton John fan but I had the song "Rocket Man" stuck in my head for most of the night until it finally slowed down some....

    Got through the rest of the night getting up every half hour going back to my second home and made it to my appointment on time and I have to say they were great and made it as painless as possible...Got the IV in and remember hearing the drug was going in and that's all she wrote, good night Irene, didn't feel a thing, woke up, asked if I could get a take out 12 pack of that stuff but no go on that deal....Wife was there when the doc came in and said the wonderful prep I did didn't work good enough and I would have to do the whole thing over again....NOT what I wanted to hear!!!, I guess directions are important.....Wife was laughing her A off saying, I've been telling you for years you were full of Ka Ka and now we know I was right.....Lucky for her I still had tubes and wires in me or I would have gone all Ralph Kramden and it would have been "Bang zoom over the moon Alice" for her!!!....

    Oh well, gotta do it all over again in a couple weeks but this time I got a new plan, going to add a can of Gumout fuel injection cleaner to the gallon of sewer slop to give it a boost...Who knows, could help things move along a little better and it sure will improve the taste!!!
    I was with the wifey when she got hers. Told her the same thing. Same thing with the gallon jug of s#itwater. She was livid when she found out that they have a bottle of stuff that's the size of a cough syrup bottle to take, to get the same result instead of trying to choke down a gallon of polyethylene glycol. I'll never get the chance to experience one myself. I refuse, period. If I get the call to leave this earth, so be it. Everyone is going to die from something. Everyone has polyps. They say that they can become cancerous. So can a hangnail. All doctor's can do is just guess and prescribe pills. As far as saving your life, not so much. It's a moneymaker for clinics and hospitals. Sorry, I have a dim view of the medical profession these days. Lot's of unnecessary tests and procedures to make money for the clinics or hospitals that employ them. The wifey got a stomach bug a while back. What was needed was for them to get a sample, and actually, the sample told them everything they needed to know. So, sample and office visit. $900 later, with a bunch of unnecessary tests, they prescribed some anti biotics...…………………………....

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    1,284

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    Had mine 2 years ago. They punctured my colon. After surgery spent 7 days in the hospital flat on my back with a stomach pump hose down my nose. Didn't find any colon problems. Ask me if I'll ever have another "proceedure". Good luck!

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    10,958

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    *** Warning! ***



    Get your eye bleach ready!




    Might be Cowboys' biggest fan!




    This accompanied the post on Facebook:







    Due to budget cuts, Dallas will only have one super size cheerleader this year.


























    Nice footgear, too, but not for HER dancing!

    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

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