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Thread: October Oddities

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Central MN
    Posts
    1,538

    Default October Oddities

    Golden Books That Never Made It

    • You Are Different And That's Bad
    • The Boy Who Died - From Eating All His Vegetables
    • Dad's New Wife Robert
    • Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
    • Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
    • The Little Sissy Who Snitched
    • Some Kittens Can Fly
    • That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
    • The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
    • Strangers Have The Best Candy
    • You Were an Accident
    • Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
    • Pop! Goes the Hamster...And Other Microwave Games
    • The Man In The Moon Is Actually Satan
    • Your Nightmares Are Real
    • Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
    • Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
    • Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?​

    "Never pet a burning dog"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
    Posts
    28,738

    Default

    Excellent, I can relate to many of those.

    Mr Fork and Mrs Outlet bring back uncomfortable memories and no doubt played apart in my deep seated fear of electricity.
    Last edited by Bawanna; 10-04-2019 at 01:30 PM.
    http://bawanna45.wix.com/bawannas-grip-emporium#!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    1,038

    Default

    My daughter (now 35) could add the title "Moms old car keys will not start the electical outlet..."

    Fun Times!
    I was once asked if I was "a paranoid for carrying my Kahr".
    "Nope" I said, "just prepared".
    " prepared for what" he asked?
    "more stuff than you are"
    God Bless our Troups!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
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    A Quick Swim....

    A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake.

    Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their “freedom.”

    As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.

    After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates.

    The rabbi replied, “I don’t know about you, but in my congregation, it’s my face they would recognize.”

    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  5. #5
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    Jun 2015
    Location
    High Plains Drifter, stuck in a Lowland swamp called California
    Posts
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    Default

    23 years in a Federal Penitentiary, 6x8 double bunked rooms with toilets

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Round Rock, Texas
    Posts
    3,409

    Default

    Wonder why I’ve had four stent implants?
    Attached Images Attached Images
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    10,958

    Default

    Useful Aviation Terms
    AIRSPEED – Speed of an airplane. (Deduct 25% when listening to a retired fighter pilot.)
    BANK – The folks who hold the lien on most pilots’ cars.
    CARBURETOR ICING – A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas.
    CONE OF CONFUSION – An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach fix at an airport.
    DEAD RECKONING – You reckon correctly, or you are.
    DESTINATION – Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot’s bladder saturation point.
    ENGINE FAILURE – A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air.
    FIREWALL – Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit.
    FLIGHT FOLLOWING – Formation flying.
    GLIDE DISTANCE – Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.
    HOBBS – An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction.
    HYDROPLANE – An airplane designed to land long on a short and wet runway.
    LEAN MIXTURE – Nonalcoholic beer.
    MINI MAG LITE – Device designed to support the AA battery industry.
    NANOSECOND – Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and the onset of carburetor icing.
    PARASITIC DRAG – A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.
    RICH MIXTURE – What you order at another pilot’s promotion party.
    ROGER – Used when you’re not sure what else to say.
    SECTIONAL CHART – Any chart that ends 25 nm short of your destination.
    SERVICE CEILING – Altitude at which cabin crew can serve drinks.
    SPOILERS – FAA Inspectors.
    STALL – Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
    STEEP BANKS – Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest
    TURN & BANK INDICATOR – An instrument largely ignored by pilots.
    USEFUL LOAD – Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.
    WAC CHART – Directions to the Army female barracks.
    YANKEE – Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to “Say again”.
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    10,958

    Default

    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Kalamazoo, MI
    Posts
    819

    Default

    Thanks Wynn...I copied this to an aviation board I'm a member of and got a TON of likes!

    Quote Originally Posted by wyntrout View Post
    Useful Aviation Terms
    AIRSPEED – Speed of an airplane. (Deduct 25% when listening to a retired fighter pilot.)
    BANK – The folks who hold the lien on most pilots’ cars.
    CARBURETOR ICING – A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas.
    CONE OF CONFUSION – An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach fix at an airport.
    DEAD RECKONING – You reckon correctly, or you are.
    DESTINATION – Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot’s bladder saturation point.
    ENGINE FAILURE – A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air.
    FIREWALL – Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit.
    FLIGHT FOLLOWING – Formation flying.
    GLIDE DISTANCE – Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.
    HOBBS – An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction.
    HYDROPLANE – An airplane designed to land long on a short and wet runway.
    LEAN MIXTURE – Nonalcoholic beer.
    MINI MAG LITE – Device designed to support the AA battery industry.
    NANOSECOND – Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and the onset of carburetor icing.
    PARASITIC DRAG – A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.
    RICH MIXTURE – What you order at another pilot’s promotion party.
    ROGER – Used when you’re not sure what else to say.
    SECTIONAL CHART – Any chart that ends 25 nm short of your destination.
    SERVICE CEILING – Altitude at which cabin crew can serve drinks.
    SPOILERS – FAA Inspectors.
    STALL – Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
    STEEP BANKS – Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest
    TURN & BANK INDICATOR – An instrument largely ignored by pilots.
    USEFUL LOAD – Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.
    WAC CHART – Directions to the Army female barracks.
    YANKEE – Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to “Say again”.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    10,958

    Default

    I "stole" it from one, too!
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

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