Fibb-a-wary....

[jeepster09]

Sex Blowup Dolls

---

A man goes into a sex shop and asks for a blowup doll.

The clerk asks, would you like a Jewish one, a Christian one, or a Muslim one?

The customer asks what is the difference between them?

The clerk says, the Muslim one blows itself up.

[Bawanna]

Oh ya got me again! Good one.

[wyntrout]

[jeepster09]

Bewildered Texan

---

While hiking along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist slip and fall into the Rio Grande River; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and explosives he was carrying.

Near him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help, the two of them would surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan and wanting to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff's Office and the Department of Homeland Security.

It is now 4 p.m. Both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.

I'm beginning to think I wasted two stamps.

[jeepster09]

Only in Texas

---

A lady was telling her neighbor that she saw a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate, and a dog was hanging onto the tailgate for dear life!

She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn't been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him.

A few weeks later, her neighbor saw this truck at the local Bass Pro Shop.

The pick-up truck driver is a local TEXAS taxidermist with a great sense of humor!

Taxidermists are a twisted lot anyway!

And it is not a dog in the 1st Place ; it is a Coyote.

Can you imagine how many people tried to stop this guy?

[jeepster09]

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad
day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do;
to live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most
intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in
the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and
invincible ...

No wait...Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that sh!t.

[jeepster09]

Texas Deer Hunter Story

---

A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand near

highway 481 in Maverick Co., TX, early one cold December morning.



Suddenly, a huge non-typical buck walked out over the corn they had

spread in the senderos w/ a tailgate feeder. Moving quickly, the hunter

carefully aimed the Leupold scope on his .300 Win Mag at the

unsuspectingbuck.



As he was about to squeeze the trigger on this deer of a lifetime,

his friend alerted him to a funeral procession passing slowly by down 481.

The hunter pulled away from the gunstock, set the rifle down, took

off his hat, bowed his head, and then closed his eyes in prayer.

His friend was stunned. "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and

touching thing I have ever seen you do. You are indeed the kindest

man I have ever known, and I feel lucky to call you a friend."

The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

[jeepster09]

https://youtu.be/iKcWu0tsiZM

[Bawanna]

That would be funny as heck if it weren't so accurate and true.

[Armybrat]

...