December Dandy's

[jeepster09]

MY FIRST IRISH DRINK WITH MY SON

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.

Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house.

I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.

Then I got him a Stroh’s, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.

It was the same with the Molson's and the Labatt's.

I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's, nope!

By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink I was so fookin' sh!t-faced I could hardly push the stroller back home!

[jeepster09]

Hear tell there was a happily married couple both 65 celebrating their wedding anniversary when a wish granting fairy showed up anxious to give them each a wish. Well the wife said she was happy as can be, thanks anyways. The husband ponders for a minute then sheepishly says that he would kinda prefer a wife 30 years younger than him. "OK" says the fairy and "POOF" suddenly the man is 95 years old.

[jeepster09]

Two old men on the corner and one sez "you know, I think my wife has died". The other sez"what do you mean you THINK your wife has died "? "Well," the first one says, "the sex is about the same as it always wuz, but the dishes are piling up.

[jeepster09]

On a serious note is worth mentioning that 25% of American women are on some sort of mental health medication. This means the remaining 75% are wandering around untreated.

[Bawanna]

Apologies in advance to all my cyber brides but jeepster, I think you plumb nailed it this time.

[Bobshouse]

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Merry Christmas!

[340pd]

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[jeepster09]

Bawanna here is what you have to look forward to now that you are retired....

Where's my toast?

---

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember..

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No,I can remember it.'

'Well,I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated,he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast?'

[jeepster09]

Make sure you park correctly here in Minnesota......