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Thread: October....really!

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default October....really!

    ........


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    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  2. #2
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    Jan 2010
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    Default

    ..............
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    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  3. #3
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    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
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    And... we're in the middle of hurricane season!
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    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

  4. #4
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    Sep 2011
    Location
    Central MN
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    2,605

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    A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop and told the sales clerk
    that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

    "Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"
    The bride-to-be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

    "Please don't take this the wrong way, madam, but such dresses are usually more fitting for the
    first-time bride who is more innocent in the ways of life, if you get my meaning."

    "WELL! "replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.

    You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he had a heart attack due to an unknown congenital condition as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.

    My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

    "What about your third husband?"


    "That one was a Democrat", said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."




































































    "Never pet a burning dog"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Love it!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  6. #6
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    "If we ever forget we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Ronald Reagan

  7. #7
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    Grammar Lesson

    Everyone can use a little “grammar” update now and then so here's yours for today.

    Is it “complete”, “finished” or “completely finished”? No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words - “Complete” and “Finished”.

    In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

    The final question was: 'How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.'

    Here is his astute answer:

    "When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

    He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch!

    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Round Rock, Texas
    Posts
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    Default

    ....
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    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
    Posts
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    Default

    Dang I like that one.
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    11,343

    Default

    WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET BLONDE GENIES



    A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and then begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.



    Then, there's a knock at the door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies.



    One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
    USAF Retired '88, NRA Life Member. Wife USAF Retired '96
    Avatar: Wynn re-enlists his wife Desiree, circa 1988 Loring AFB, ME. 42nd BMW, Heavy (SAC) B-52G's
    Frédéric Bastiat’s essay, The Law: http://mises.org/books/thelaw.pdf

    Thomas Jefferson said

    “A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.”
    and

    "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".

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