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Thread: December continues the Yule Season... Or as the Dems say You'll do what I say, not do

  1. #61
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    Sep 2009
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    Round Rock, Texas
    Posts
    5,138

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    Can’t make this BS up..... but somebody in congress sure can:
    Attached Images Attached Images
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
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    1,422

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  3. #63
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Central MN
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    An assistant to Nancy Pelosi told her she had a
    fantastic dream last night.
    There was a humongous parade in Washington


    celebrating Pelosi. Millions lined the parade
    route, cheering when Nancy went past. Bands
    were playing; children were throwing confetti
    into the air; there were balloons everywhere. It
    was the biggest celebration Washington had
    ever seen.


    Nancy was very impressed and said, "That's
    really great!
    By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was
    my hair okay?


    Her assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket
    was closed."
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
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    I love that, hope the parade is soon.
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Round Rock, Texas
    Posts
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    ...
    Attached Images Attached Images
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    5,746

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    Dear Santa,

    I wood like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer.

    YeR FReND,

    BiLLy

    Dear Billy,

    Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a monkey trainer. How about I send you a ****ing book so you
    can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger.

    Santa


    ******************************

    Dear Santa,



    I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

    Love,

    Sarah

    Dear Sarah, Quit smoking pot...

    Santa

    ******************************

    Dear Santa,

    I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
    Please see what you Can do.

    Love,

    Teddy

    Dear Teddy,

    What..., and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having? He's banging that red head like a screen door in a
    hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice LEGOs instead.

    Santa

    ******************************

    Dearest Santa,

    We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

    Love,

    Marky


    Mark,

    First of all, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're getting your a$$ whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent Apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

    Sweet Dreams!

    Santa

    *****************************

    Dear Santa,

    I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

    Timmy

    Timmy,

    That whiney, begging $hit may work with your folks, but that Crap doesn't work up here. You're getting a
    sweater vest & underwear again this year.

    Santa

    ****************************

    Dear Santa,

    I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.

    Love,

    Susan

    Dear Susan,

    Milk gives me the $hits and carrots make the deer shoot air Biscuits in my face. You really want to be a
    Kiss-a$$? Leave me a glass of Southern Comfort instead....

    Santa

    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
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    32,470

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    NICE! Some good ones there.
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    wisconsin
    Posts
    1,049

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  9. #69
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
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  10. #70
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    Jan 2016
    Location
    wisconsin
    Posts
    1,049

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    A cartridge in a bare tree.

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