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Thread: January jollies

  1. #31
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    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  2. #32
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    Id like to congratulate The Ohio State Buckeyes football team for their fantastic comeback victory in last nights NCAA Football Championship Game over The Alabama Crimson Tide.....I know it looked like Alabama had gone up 52 to 24 when time ran out and everyone was sure they had the win in the bag when we went to bed but somehow amazingly enough at about 4am Ohio State was able to score 5 more touchdowns and was officially declared National Champions with a final score of 59 to 52......Unfortunately the game film of Ohio State scoring 35 points in the wee hours of Tuesday morning has been lost......They are rioting in Tuscaloosa and ESPN is calling them sore losers and demanding that Nick Saban be permanently removed as head coach......
    Last edited by getsome; 01-12-2021 at 10:15 PM. Reason: Speeling
    I love my Country but fear my Government....

  3. #33
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    ^^^ Man, where's the Like button. I want to push it now!

  4. #34
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    The Hooker's Union



    A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.



    When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"



    "No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."



    "Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"



    "The house gets $60 and the girls get $40," she answered.



    Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.



    His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."



    The man asked, "And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"



    "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."



    "That's more like it!" the union man said.



    He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blue-eyed blonde.



    "I'd like her," he said. "I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 80 year old woman in the corner, "but Nancy here has 40 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by getsome View Post
    Id like to congratulate The Ohio State Buckeyes football team for their fantastic comeback victory in last nights NCAA Football Championship Game over The Alabama Crimson Tide.....I know it looked like Alabama had gone up 52 to 24 when time ran out and everyone was sure they had the win in the bag when we went to bed but somehow amazingly enough at about 4am Ohio State was able to score 5 more touchdowns and was officially declared National Champions with a final score of 59 to 52......Unfortunately the game film of Ohio State scoring 35 points in the wee hours of Tuesday morning has been lost......They are rioting in Tuscaloosa and ESPN is calling them sore losers and demanding that Nick Saban be permanently removed as head coach......
    Brilliant!
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeepster09 View Post
    The Hooker's Union



    A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.



    When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"



    "No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."



    "Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"



    "The house gets $60 and the girls get $40," she answered.



    Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.



    His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."



    The man asked, "And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"



    "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."



    "That's more like it!" the union man said.



    He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blue-eyed blonde.



    "I'd like her," he said. "I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 80 year old woman in the corner, "but Nancy here has 40 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."
    Likewise!
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  7. #37
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    Bubba's New Truck

    One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street, when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.

    Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.

    "Bubba, where'd you get that truck?" asked Jimmy Joe.

    "Bobby Sue gave it to me," Bubba replied.

    "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?"

    "Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want."

    "So I took the truck!"

    "Bubba, you're a smart man! Them clothes woulda' never fit you..."

    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeepster09 View Post
    Bubba's New Truck

    One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street, when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.

    Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.

    "Bubba, where'd you get that truck?" asked Jimmy Joe.

    "Bobby Sue gave it to me," Bubba replied.

    "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?"

    "Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want."

    "So I took the truck!"

    "Bubba, you're a smart man! Them clothes woulda' never fit you..."
    Thats a good one.
    The only thing better than having all the guns and ammo you'd ever need would be being able to shoot it all off the back porch.

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  9. #39
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    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  10. #40
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    wisconsin
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