January jollies

[340pd]

1911.jpg

[Bawanna]

That's plenty sexy alright. Love to have one of them in a holster.

I messed up and watched Quigley the other night, now the burning desire for a Sharps is back worse than ever, never ends, the wants.

[JohnR]

If I get my $600 deposit I’ll have the January Jollies. But I can’t think of what gun to spend it on.

[wyntrout]

My wife and I got our $600 each on the 31st. Since we pay taxes, I feel that we got a little of our money back. We chose to use all available funds and pay off our car loan almost 3 years early, so it's nice to have a little something in the bank again. I have to start getting a couple of dental implants in February and this will help.

I would rather our country not be going into so much debt, but if they're going to throw our tax money around and print more money, I appreciate what they throw our way, instead of all of it going to foreign countries... some who hate us! And all of those add-ons the Dems piled onto the "stimulus bill for such crazy things!

[JohnR]

I don’t think of it as money, I think of it as control. They’re buying us; buying our consent.

[getsome]

Agree x1000...Every single cent of the stimulus money should go to Americans who have lost jobs and businesses due to the China plague and not one penny to countries like Sudan who will receive 35 million for “Gender Studies”.....This is almost a trillion dollar package and we will have to borrow the money from China and pay it back with interest because of their negligence in not controlling the kill virus they lab created and let go on the world.....

[JohnR]

The Gov has no intention of paying it back. That’s become obvious to me.

[Armybrat]

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

[yqtszhj]

Good one Armybrat.

[wyntrout]

Lucille decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.


She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.

She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."

"But I didn't use them."

'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here."

"But I didn't go to any of those shows.."

"Well, we have them, and you could have."

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.

After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.

"But Madam, this check is for only $50.00"

"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me."

"But I didn't!"

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."