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Thread: Marching on....

  1. #1
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    Default Marching on....

    SIMPLE TRUTH 1 :

    Lovers help each other undress before sex.

    However, after sex, they always dress on their own .

    Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.





    SIMPLE TRUTH 2:

    When a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congratulations."

    But none go up to the man, touch his peni$ and say, "Good Job."

    Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.





    FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

    1. Money can't buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.

    2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the a$$hole's name.

    3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

    4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither does milk.

    5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.





    BONUS RULES:

    1. Condoms do not guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

    2. I think all politicians should wear uniforms. You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors

    3. Also, all politicians should serve only two terms -- one in office and one in prison.
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  2. #2
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    Default

    ....


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    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  3. #3
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    "Never pet a burning dog"

  4. #4
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    "Never pet a burning dog"

  5. #5
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    Default

    ....
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    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  6. #6
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    Default

    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  7. #7
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    Anybody know this guy?

    BW.jpg
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  8. #8
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    Default

    Those are great!!
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  9. #9
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    Default

    "Never pet a burning dog"

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    "Never pet a burning dog"

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