As for the lighter ammo, might I suggest some of the Liberty Ammunition stuff. It is my favorite 9mm defense round. Shoots soft and the velocity is out of this world. Sometimes hard to find and expensive, but everyone I’ve turned onto it said they loved it. As an added benefit, it really is lightweight, meaning you spare mags (if you carry them) and your gun itself weigh noticeably less when loaded with liberty. The lost, recoil absorbing weight in your pistol will not be missed, as again, it really does shoot soft.