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Thread: October outrageousness

  1. #91
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Round Rock, Texas
    Posts
    4,319

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    Yeah, got some 2” hail in April.
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  2. #92
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    6,637

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    Quote Originally Posted by jeepster09 View Post
    CALLER:
    Is this Gordon's Pizza?

    GOOGLE:
    No sir, it's Google Pizza.

    CALLER:
    I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

    GOOGLE:
    No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

    CALLER:
    OK. I would like to order a pizza.

    GOOGLE:
    Do you want your usual, sir?

    CALLER:
    My usual? You know me?

    GOOGLE:
    According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

    CALLER:
    OK! That’s what I want ...

    GOOGLE:
    May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

    CALLER:
    What? I detest vegetables!

    GOOGLE:
    Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

    CALLER:
    How the hell do you know!

    GOOGLE:
    Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

    CALLER:
    Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

    GOOGLE:
    Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

    CALLER:
    I bought more from another drugstore.

    GOOGLE:
    That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

    I paid in cash.

    GOOGLE:
    But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

    CALLER:
    I have other sources of cash.

    GOOGLE:
    That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

    CALLER:
    WHAT THE HELL!

    GOOGLE:
    I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

    CALLER:
    Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without Internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

    GOOGLE:
    I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
    And that is exactly where we’re headed.
    The only thing better than having all the guns and ammo you'd ever need would be being able to shoot it all off the back porch.

    Want to see what will be the end of our country as we know it???
    Visit here:
    http://www.usdebtclock.org/

  3. #93
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    4,511

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    I think in some areas WE ARE THERE!
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  4. #94
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    NE Texas
    Posts
    3,259

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    I miss rotary dial and face to face cash purchases ..... and a whole lot of other simpler things


    jd
    ________________________________________
    ---------------------------------------------------

    It's not gun control that we need, it's soul control!

  5. #95
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Round Rock, Texas
    Posts
    4,319

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    ...
    Attached Images Attached Images
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  6. #96
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    NE Texas
    Posts
    3,259

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    ^gag^



    jd
    ________________________________________
    ---------------------------------------------------

    It's not gun control that we need, it's soul control!

  7. #97
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
    Posts
    30,735

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armybrat View Post
    ...
    Broke Back scooter?
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  8. #98
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    4,108

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armybrat View Post
    ...
    Oh Chad, it feels so awesome when you hit those big bumps……..

  9. #99
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Twin Cities MN.
    Posts
    4,511

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    Today's WOKE SUPERHERO....
    Attached Images Attached Images
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  10. #100
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    4,108

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    Quote Originally Posted by jeepster09 View Post
    Today's WOKE SUPERHERO....
    That’s just great, James Bond is dead and we are left with the “Pink Sphincter” to save the world

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