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Thread: January jollies

  1. #81
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    Sep 2011
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    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  2. #82
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    Feb 2018
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    Quote Originally Posted by BirdsThaWord View Post
    Land of the lost...the sleystaks scared me! Looking back, I have no idea why. Just some guys in lizard suits making hissing noises.
    Yeah, wasn't the lazy/bad guy on that the same guy that played Dr. Smith on Outer Space? Twelve O'clock high was a good one too. Also, High Chapparal.

  3. #83
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    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  4. #84
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    Round Rock, Texas
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    ...
    Attached Images Attached Images
    A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition
    -Rudyard Kipling

  5. #85
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    Apr 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by 340pd View Post
    [img] [/img]
    Probably my most purchased, most used, and most enjoyable toy I had when I was a squirt.......................

  6. #86
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    Never bring a gun to a harpoon fight.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBoy7piXtPM&t=89s
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  7. #87
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    Central MN
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    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  8. #88
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    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    Over 70 and Rude
    When you're over seventy.............who cares?

    I was standing at the bar at the Legion post one night minding my own business
    when this FAT ugly chick came up behind me grabbed my behind and said
    "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?
    I said, "Yeah you gotta pen?"
    She said, "Yeah I got a pen".
    I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
    Cost me 6 stitches…but,
    When you're over seventy.............who cares?

    **********

    I went to the drug store and told the clerk …"Give me 3 packets of condoms please"
    Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that sir?";
    I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'…"
    When you're over seventy.............who cares?

    **********

    I was talking to a young woman at the Legion last night.
    She said, "If you lost a few pounds had a shave and got your hair cut you'd look all right.";
    I said, "If I did that I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.";
    Cost me a fat lip, but… When you're over seventy............who cares?

    **********

    I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
    "Really" she said, "Go on then.. try."
    After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on what day was I born?"
    I said, "Yesterday."
    Cost me a kick in the groin, but…
    When you're over seventy..............who cares?

    *********

    I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
    When you're over seventy.............who cares?

    **********

    I went to our Legion last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
    I said, "Good legs."
    The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
    I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
    When you're over seventy.............who cares?

    **********
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  9. #89
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    Jan 2016
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    wisconsin
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  10. #90
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    Feb 2012
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    In the Colorado mountains
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    I just told my wife a few of these jokes, she didn't seem to care for some reason???

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