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Thread: April Foolishness

  1. #161
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    Three Tests

    A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

    He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

    "Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus"

    The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"

    "You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

    So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.

    "Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

    First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."

    "Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."

    "Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."

    The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

    "Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

    As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

    He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.

    Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!

    Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.

    Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

    Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.

    His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.

    He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?”

    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  2. #162
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    .....
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    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  3. #163
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
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    For those that recently inquired, I just got an email response from Greg. He's alive and doing fine. Fires in his area are a ways off and not concerned. Illegals fairly distant also so for now all is well. It was good to hear from him. Miss him around here, smartest man alive on most gun stuff and probably other stuff too.
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  4. #164
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
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    Thanks for the update Colonel!

  5. #165
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    GLAD GREG IS DOING OK. WAS STARTING TO WONDER IF MAYBE HE RAN OFF WITH AIRET AND THE CONVICT WHOM WE ALSO HAVE NOT HEARD FROM FOR AWHILE.
    "If we ever forget we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Ronald Reagan

  6. #166
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Jax, Fla
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    Jocko?
    A corrupt government tends to be well protected by a thin white line of bureaucracy.

  7. #167
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Central MN
    Posts
    2,853

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    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  8. #168
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    Central MN
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    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  9. #169
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    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    Jocko is very jealous.....
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    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  10. #170
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    Cougars are hot.....and dangerous.
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    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

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