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Thread: May mischievousness

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    Central MN
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    Default May mischievousness

    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  2. #2
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    Central MN
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    Default

    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Central MN
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    Default

    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  4. #4
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    Default

    "Never pet a burning dog"

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Central MN
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    Default

    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    Default

    I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I tip over putting on my underwear.

    I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... so she hugged me.

    My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don't listen and something else....

    At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

    I thought growing old would take longer.

    I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps, got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what's going on.

    The officer said, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" We just laughed and laughed....I need bail money.

    I think the reason we are born with two hands is so we can pet two dogs at once.

    Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons in the Biden administration.

    The adult version of "head, shoulders, knees and toes" is "wallet, glasses, keys and phone."

    Oops.... did I roll my eyes out loud?

    Life is too short to waste time matching socks.

    Wi-fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.

    If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed; we're having a staff meeting.

    I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.

    Some people call me crazy. I prefer happy with a twist.

    My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

    I really don't mind getting old, but my body is having a major fit.

    Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.

    Project Manager...because Miracle Worker isn't an official job title.

    I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

    Measure once, cuss twice..

    My dream job would be driving the karma bus.

    THINK! (It's not illegal.... YET)

    I don't care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives.

    The world's best antidepressant has 4 legs, a wagging tail and comes with unconditional love.

    Love is how excited your dog gets when you come home.

    I've reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

    If you're happy and you know it, it's your meds.
    "If we ever forget we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." Ronald Reagan

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Default

    Those are greatttt!
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  8. #8
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    Yup.
    A corrupt government tends to be well protected by a thin white line of bureaucracy.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default

    Yes sir, thank you Grot, that one pretty much explained this crazy world to me……Now I can die happy with a full understanding of things if I can only remember them……..Good night Irene

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Default

    ........

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    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

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