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Thread: July...with a bang!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Twin Cities MN.
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    4,907

    Default July...with a bang!

    Sex After Death...

    A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and ... inform the other if there is sex after death.

    Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.

    After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.

    True to his word, he made the first contact:

    " Marion .... Marion "

    "Is that you, Bob?"

    "Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

    "That's wonderful! What's it like?"

    "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again".

    "Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"
    "No -- I'm a rabbit, living near a golf course, somewhere in South Carolina .Ē .
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  2. #2
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    Sep 2011
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    Central MN
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    Default

    "Never pet a burning dog"

  3. #3
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    Default

    [img][/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  4. #4
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    Default

    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  5. #5
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    Default

    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  6. #6
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    Default

    [img] [/img]
    "Never pet a burning dog"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Default

    So an elderly Italian man living alone in New Jersey wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
    Dear Vincent,
    I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I wonít be able to plant my tomato garden this year. Iím just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
    Love, Papa
    A few days later he received a letter from his son.
    Dear Pop,
    Donít dig up that garden. Thatís where the bodies are buried.
    Love,
    Vinnie
    At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
    Dear Pop,
    Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. Thatís the best I could do under the circumstances.
    Love you,
    "Life Member NRA"
    I am addicted to brake fluid...don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

  8. #8
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    Jun 2014
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    Upstate, South Carolina
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 340pd View Post
    [img][/img]
    My dad had a truck like that, 3 on the tree, always getting jammed. I think was a V-6
    NRA Benefactor

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Wet & Wild Pacific NW
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 340pd View Post
    [img][/img]
    Damn I really want that truck!
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kenemoore View Post
    My dad had a truck like that, 3 on the tree, always getting jammed. I think was a V-6
    I didn't think they had V6's back in those days. Straight 6's. My dad insisted I learn to drive on a stick and ours was a 3 on the tree. I had no issue except remembering to push in the clutch when I stopped.
    Didn't take long to learn how to side step the clutch when I went solo neither. Wish I had that 69 GMC now. Short bed, straight six.
    If I had a nice pair of legs or even ugly ones that worked I'd be driving a stick now.
    In Memory of Paul "Dietrich" Stines.
    Dad: Say something nice to your cousin Shirley
    Dietrich: For a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    Cue sound of Head slap.

    RIP Muggsy & TMan

    "If you are a warrior legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that JOCKO will not come today."

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